Hey everyone! Malorie asked me to share my story with you all. I'm going to do my best to share as much as I can. Of course, there are a few things I'd rather keep private but I'll try to get everything in there. Here we go...
When I was born I had a lot of health issues. Some of those include 2 holes in my heart, it was enlarged and also my heart tissue is harder than it should be. Those conditions are from the things that I endured while in the womb and right after I was born. Needless to say, it wasn't the most ideal environment to be born into. After I was born it didn't take long and I was adopted by my biological aunt and her husband. I am extremely grateful for them and everything I have been blessed with because without them I wouldn't have been able to get the medical care I needed for my heart. I was adopted by the time I was 6 months old so I never knew my biological parents. I was always given the option to see them and meet them anytime I wanted to but that was never a desire I have ever had. Knowing that my health problems, which caused me to miss out on almost everything as a child (I'll get to that in a minute), I didn't really want to meet the people responsible for that. I was never allowed to stress my heart which meant no running, dancing, cheerleading, sports, rollercoasters, haunted houses or anything that would put me under stress or cause my heart to beat fast. My childhood consisted of lots of reading, swimming and piano. I really don't think I'd change my childhood though. I'm glad that I read a lot because now I am a great at spelling and a very fast reader thanks to it. I also love swimming and I wish I would have stuck with piano. I am glad that I am a cautious person because of my restrictions and although people tell me I'm a party pooper sometimes I rather enjoy being safe and not doing silly things that could harm me. Recently, a lot has changed. My heart condition has gotten so much better. The holes are closed up and the talk of heart surgery or a transplant has been a lot quieter lately and my doctor has told me that if I do have to have one of those it will most likely be much later in my life. I do still take medicine daily to thin my blood so my heart doesn't have to work as hard to pump blood and I will never be able to get off of the medicine but I think that's a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.
Something else that is new is that I have reconnected with my biological siblings. When I was adopted I gained 2 adoptive brothers who I love more than anything and they will never be less than my brothers. I have never thought of them as my cousins. They have and always will be my Bubba and Davy-O. I have 3 biological half siblings and 4 biological full siblings. About 2 years ago my biological mother died. My half-sister got in touch with my Mom to let her know what happened and when the funeral was and at first I didn't want to go. I talked with my parents for a while and we finally decided that if I ever wanted to see her this would be my last chance and it would also give me a chance to meet all of my siblings at one time and decide if I wanted to continue to talk to them or not. So, we went...
The day of the funeral was the most nerve-racking thing I've ever experienced. I dressed up and my Mom and Dad went with me. My Mom is the baby of 14 kids and her brother is my biological father. She doesn't speak to her family much if at all so she was nervous too. She hadn't seen or talked to any of them in like 10 or more years. Needless to say, it was not a fun car ride. When we got there the first people we saw automatically knew who we were. Keep in mind no one has seen me since I was a baby so they only recognized us because of my Mom. My half-sister Amber found us and it was a little awkward at first but she was really nice and made it a lot easier for me to handle meeting the others. The next person I met was my full sister. She is a year and a half younger than me. She was not doing very good since it was her mom's funeral. I was the only full sibling that was adopted. The rest of my full siblings grew up with their biological parents. So, I didn't get to talk to her much but it was rather awkward anyway. I also met my full brother who is 3 years younger than me and one of my half brothers. I also had to see my biological father. It was the weirdest thing I've ever done in my life. It was really weird and not fun at all. I still keep in touch with my two younger full siblings and my half-sister. Other than that I'd rather just keep my distance and not talk to the others. I'm not prepared for that nor do I want to even have to be prepared. They are not people I want to be associated with. I am so happy that ,even though the circumstances were unfavorable, I got to meet those 3 and that they are now a permanent part of my life. I went 19 years of my life not knowing them or ever seeing them and it's like we have never been apart.
Now, let's get back to my heart problems. I left one important part out of the first part of my story. It's easy to assume that since I can't do so many things that will stress my heart it's safe to say that I can't have children either. I have never really thought about having kids. I'm only 21. The thought just hasn't crossed my mind yet. I am happily married and have been for almost 3 years now (September 9th will be 3 years of marriage and 7 years of being together.) I married my high school sweetheart and I couldn't have asked for a better husband and best friend. I have always had a hard time during school mainly elementary with people not being able to accept my health issues. I have had people not want to be my friend and people asking tons of questions and just being nosey. One other health issue I have is that my neck is wider than it normally should be. You would never be able to tell unless I pointed it out because I wear my hair down all the time but if the wind blows or if I wear my hair up (I haven't in years in public) then you could see it. I've been made fun of for that so many times. But my amazing husband loves every single little thing about me. I can't even stand to see my hair up because of the problems I've had and it's his favorite thing. If I put my hair up to clean or something he will get the biggest most genuine smile on his face and tell me he loves my hair in a pony tail. He is the first person I have ever known to not care at all about any of my health problems. He tells me that since my heart is enlarged that just means I have a big heart and that's why I'm so sweet. He will get more upset than I will if someone asks me about my heart or neck. It's the sweetest thing ever. I love him so much. Back to the kids thing...I have been to so many doctors in my life and had so many tests done for my heart my entire life. When it came time to get married we of course had to decide what we were going to do about having kids since I can't physically have my own. This would be a deal breaker with a lot of people but it was not even a problem for him to offer to go to the doctor himself and make sure that we would never have to choose between me or a baby. Not even 2 months after we were married he was in the doctor's office "getting fixed." He was nervous of course but he was more than willing to do what he needed to do to keep me safe. I can never thank him enough for that. That is a big sacrifice to make but he did it with a smile on his face and he would do it again in a heartbeat. He is proud that he was able to protect his family. I really don't know what I'd do without him.
I know this post was kind of long but I have never actually sat down to write down my story. I was doing good until I got to the part about my husband and that made me tear up. Happy tears of course. I'm glad that Malorie asked me to do this. I hope that you all find some inspiration in this story or at least a good read.
